


A Hand to Hold My Own

by 221blackandwhitestripes



Series: Riddlebird Week 2018 [6]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Asexual Oswald Cobblepot, Asexuality Spectrum, Cheese, Chief of Staff Edward Nygma, Coming Out, Day Six: Date/Vacation, First Dates, First Kiss, M/M, Mayor Oswald Cobblepot, Pride, Riddlebird Week, Summer of Gotham, kind of, lgbtq+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 15:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221blackandwhitestripes/pseuds/221blackandwhitestripes
Summary: Edward had never been as excited or as nervous as he was at that moment. He didn't know why. It was just dinner. They had dinner all the time.Riddlebird Week, Day Six:Date/Vacation





	A Hand to Hold My Own

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you change your idea at the last minute, end up getting sick, and try to finish things at the last minute. Ah, well. Enjoy anyway?

Edward had never been as excited or as nervous as he was at that moment. He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he awaited Oswald’s voice, declaring he should enter. At last, his secretary exited, gesturing for Ed to come in, which he did gladly.

“Ah, Ed, how delightful to see you. I trust you are feeling well?” Oswald prompted, his bright, clear eyes shining with the light entering through the stained glass window.

“Right as rain,” Ed answered with a smile. Oswald gestured for him to take a seat, and Ed didn’t hesitate before doing just that. They sat like that for several moments, Oswald smiling encouragingly at him and Ed returning the smile with equal force.

“So..?” Oswald prompted, waving his hand. Ed blinked at him. Oswald really did have nice eyes, the glittered so prettily when he smiled. “Ed? You must have come in here for a reason.”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Ed babbled, clearing his throat nervously. “Do you recall the conversation we had last week? The one about _Fratelli’s_?”

“Yes,” Oswald sighed, disappointedly. Ed grinned. This was all very conducive.

“Well, then, it will please you to know that I have managed to book out the entire restaurant for this evening. Full wait service, no interruptions.” Ed grinned expectantly, trying to mask his sudden nervousness. Perhaps he’d gone too far? It was just dinner. They had dinner all the time.

“Oh, that’s exceptional!” Oswald exclaimed, standing from behind his desk. Ed stepped forward, melting against the shorter man’s body as he pulled him into a hug. God, he lived for these moments. “What time should I be ready?”

“Oh, um,” Ed quickly recovered, smoothing down his shirtfront as he stepped back. “I-I have asked Ms Casely to be ready and waiting at six-fifteen. It shouldn’t be a long drive, but I wanted to give us some time just in case.”

“I shall have to go home for a change of clothes,” Oswald said.

“Oh, actually, I asked Casely to bring some,” Ed told him. “I hope you approve of my choice.”

“I’m sure I will,” Oswald assured him, smiling kindly. They lapsed into silence again, gazes locked as if magnetized. The air between them was thick with unspoken words, and Ed wondered if Oswald knew what tonight really was for him, if he knew how Ed’s heart was already racing, that his palms were already sweating.

Did he know how much Ed wanted things to go well because he couldn’t bear the alternative?

“Well, I better leave you to your work,” Ed quickly concluded, standing up and accidentally knocking his knee against the leg of his chair in his haste.

“Are you alright?” Oswald asked, ever concerned.

“Yes, yes, right as rain, right as rain,” Ed assured him quickly, not looking back as he left the room in a flurry. He shut the door behind him, leaning back against it as he struggled to catch his breath.

“What are you doing, Mr Nygma?” Miss Winters asked, the sudden announcement of her presence startling Ed further. She raised a suspicious eyebrow, tilting her head as Ed pressed a hand to his fast-beating heart.

“Nothing, Miss Winters. Have a good day,” he answered quickly, deciding it was best for him to exit than further embarrass himself.

He glanced back as he rounded the corner, only to see Miss Winters watching him with a knowing gaze. He dreaded to think what it was she knew.

_If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?_

A secret.

 _Tonight,_ he promised himself. _Tonight_.

?¿?¿?

_Knock, knock, knock._

“Um, Ed? Are you ready?” Oswald called. Ed didn’t know what had rendered the man so hesitant. He couldn’t help but wonder if Oswald had figured out why Ed was doing this. How, though? Had he called the restaurant and found out just how far Ed had gone to get this reservation?

“I-I just need a minute,” Ed scrambled to reply. He took a deep breath, turning back to the small hand-held mirror he’d procured from one of the younger interns--Michael something or other. He tried straightening his tie one more time, but the venture appeared entirely useless, so he resigned himself to perpetual asymmetry, choosing to focus on his hair instead.

It _had_ been perfect, slicked back and smooth without being oversaturated by the gel. But now that it was finally time to go and Ed was sweating like there was no tomorrow, tiny hairs had started to curl away, and everything looked like a complete mess. Ed was sorely tempted to smash the mirror in his disgust, but he’d done that before and the feeling wasn’t very pleasant.

“Ed?” Oswald called again.

“Ready!” Ed exclaimed, his legs moving out from beneath him too quickly, ending with him knocking into the table in his rush to the door. He turned the knob, trying to push against the wood until he remembered to pull it open instead. Oswald gave him an amused smile, but it barely registered over the astounding wave of heat that flooded Ed’s cheeks as he looked Oswald up and down.

He was wearing the suit Ed had picked for him and it looked _fantastic_ , the dark shades bringing out the pale blue in his black-lined eyes. Ed stood there, staring, for over a minute before the trance was broken by Oswald clearing his throat. Rousing himself with a few rapid blinks, Ed focussed once more, following Oswald as he turned with a chuckle and led them away.

?¿?¿?

The restaurant was as expected; yet another up and coming dining establishment in the finest streets of Gotham, where barely any trash washed down the street, and the homeless hid away from sharp voices and sharper claws.

Oswald flashed him something of a malicious grin as they were led by various wait staff into the main area and instructed to take any table of their choosing. Oswald opted for a table in the centre of the room.

“I like to command attention,” he said. It was undeniably true.

Ed’s jitters were both eased and worsened as the night went on, tiny brushings of Oswald’s good knee against his own electrifying and terrifying all at once. It scarred deeper with stroking hands and lingering looks, Ed melting under the warm shocks of Oswald’s touch as they laughed together. It seemed ridiculous to have an entire restaurant to themselves, all the wait staff present completely devoted to Oswald every wish. But there was a certain rush to it as well, this demand for respect that straightened Ed’s spine and made the evening a whole lot easier to comprehend.

Easy flowing conversation about the mayoral duties and the state of the criminal underworld slowly bled away, lapsing into silence as they regarded one another.

“Ed,” Oswald began, his hand gripping the stem of his wine glass almost delicately, a shrewd look in his eye. “May I ask you a question?”

“Of course!” Ed insisted, surprised Oswald had bothered with permission. “What is it?”

“Why did you bring me here tonight?”

Ed’s stomach dropped, and he thought for a moment that he may well lose what little food he’d consumed so far.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” Ed stammered, belatedly realizing that such blatant denial would not help his case. “I mean… we have dinner all time. And you wanted to come here, so I just arranged it as a… as a…”

“As a _what_ , Ed?” Oswald asked, raising his eyebrows.

Oh, crud.

“Gift?” he tried, his voice cracking and squeaking embarrassingly as all the anxiety over this moment came spilling in, pouring and fuming like a heat wave.

“Ed,” Oswald warned, the timbre of his voice lowering, in contrast to Ed’s tightening pitch. Ed drummed his fingers on the table, his foot tapping insistently without permission, together crescendoing in a percussion of noise like the pounding in his head. He was quietened once more only by the warmth of Oswald’s fingers as they pressed gently atop of his own.

“P-perhaps, tonight was intended as a… a _date_ type--thing.” Ed swallowed down his heart as it threatened to escape his throat, struggling to calm his nerves. “I-I understand if-if you don’t want that, it’s just that-” Ed licked his lips, breathing deeply through his nose. His palms felt slick and sticky. Was he sweating? Yes, he was probably sweating. “-that _I..._ want-it-to-be. A date, that is.”

“Oh.” Oswald blinked, his eyebrows rising higher and higher as Edward sat, paralyzed by fear. The silence weighed heavy and awkward around them, and for once Ed actually wanted a waiter to step up and interrupt them, if only to disturb the thick air clouding above. Alas, Ed was left waiting in silent torment as Oswald contemplated massive lump of unknown territory Ed had been dealing with for weeks.

“So,” Oswald began, Ed’s heart stuttering at the lone syllable. “You… w-want to be with me?”

“Y-yes,” Ed croaked, nodding his head.

“Like… that?” Oswald questioned, the lingering doubt in his eye making Edward frown.

“Surely you cannot be so surprised? I thought my attraction was obvious,” Ed told him.

“Attraction?” Oswald echoed, something hollow in his voice.

“Well, yes,” Ed reached for his paper napkin, folding it this way and that absentmindedly. “I want to be with you. I want to do...th-the things people do in novels; hold hands, talk, spend time together. Kiss.” Ed swallowed, keeping his gaze from skittering away as his fingers continued to move on the napkin.

“You want to kiss me?” Oswald asked, a touch of reverence in his voice that Ed clung to like his life depended on it.

“Yes. Very much so,” Ed admitted breathlessly. “I think about it rather a lot.”

“Oh,” Oswald blinked, nodding his head a little as if confirming something to himself. “That’s… oh.” A low sound started emanating from Oswald’s chest, and Ed didn’t recognise it as a resounding chuckle until it was roaring out, sounding through the quiet restaurant with relative ease.

“You’re… laughing?” Ed stated, hands pausing in their task as he looked him up and down with mild shock, wondering if he was supposed to join in. “Why? Did I--Is this funny to you?”

“Well, it’s rather ironic, don’t you think?” Oswald asked, still chuckling quietly.

“I don’t--What?” Ed was extremely confused.

“I was a little shocked when you told me we were going out tonight, although I was… optimistic,” Oswald told him, smiling a little. “I didn’t really know, especially how long I’ve been…”

“Y-you knew that I…” Ed trailed off.

“Well, I half-hoped,” Oswald admitted with a small smile. “The over half was completely terrified, but the rest knows you a little better, I guess.”

Ed swallowed, blinking down at Oswald as he tried to absorb this new information. “Does… Does this mean you… That you’d want to…”

“I-I think so,” Oswald smiled again, a little wobbly at the edges. “It’ll be the first time I’ve ever been with someone, Edward. I-I won’t be perfect at it.”

“Then, don’t be,” Ed told him. “Perfection is overrated anyway.”

“You’re quite right,” Oswald agreed, averting his gaze. “What are you doing there?” Oswald pointed at the folded napkin in Ed’s hands.

“Oh.” Ed completed the final fold, placing the makeshift origami on the table. “It’s a penguin.”

“It’s lovely,” Oswald breathed, picking the paper bird up delicately. “Just like the one in Arkham.”

“Ah, yes,” Ed nodded, worrying at his bottom lip.

“Since then?” Oswald asked.

“Since before then, actually,” Ed admitted. They both turned their gaze back to the origami penguin, Oswald turning it over and over in his hands.

“It seems I have some catching up to do.” Oswald carefully reset the origami penguin on the table. “I’ll call the driver. It won’t be a moment.”Oswald stood, not bothering with his cane as he shuffled away.

Ed finally allowed his blush to creep over, grinning madly into his fists. He tried not to squeal with delight but it certainly was a challenge, eventually allowing himself a contented humm that he hoped would suffice.

“Shall we go?” Oswald asked, breaking the moment as he reappeared at the table.

“Yes.” And his heart pounded harder than a siren’s song. He didn’t know if he could truly make it through this without splitting open, but he would do his damndest to keep it together.

It wasn’t often that Ed got what he wished for.

?¿?¿?

The drive home was filled with skittering nervous glances and the soft press of a hand atop Ed’s own. He was beginning to think it belonged there. Still, Ed’s heart was _thud, thud, thudding_ at this new change, a chemical reaction having been sparked somewhere to bring him to this new chapter of his life.

Edward absentmindedly thanked the driver as they get out, his brain occupied by Oswald’s clasping hand and the warmth in his chest. They walked inside and smiled at the flickering fireplace. They glanced at each other, silently agreeing before walking and sitting on the loveseat in front of the crackling embers. Ed found himself staring again. It was impossible not to, the flickering Orange light creating dazzling patterns along Oswald’s skin, contrasting with the pale blue of his eyes.

“Did you know that orange and blue are on the opposite side of the colour wheel?” Ed asked. Oswald blinked at him, smiling indulgently. Ed loved all his smiles. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Oswald gasped, breathy and perfect and exactly what Ed needed. He gave into the pulling tide, drawing Oswald in slowly by his shoulders, sinking into the kiss he’d languished over for so long. They clicked together like Lego bricks, their edges seemingly designed for them to fit together. Ed’s hand drifted to rest at the small of Oswald’s back, the other reaching up to softly tug at Oswald’s hair. Oswald quickly pulled away, cheeks bright red and appearing rather flustered.

“I, uh-”

“Too much?” Ed asked apologetically. After a moment of hesitation, Oswald nodded. “Sorry,” Ed whispered, stroking Oswald’s cheek, skin still painted luminescent by the fire.

“Try again?” Oswald murmured, looking up at him hopefully.

In place of an answer, Ed pulled him in again, marvelling at the sweet taste of Oswald’s lips. He gently caressed Oswald’s bottom lips with his tongue, his other hand sliding sideways to rest on Oswald’s hip. 

“S-stop.”

Ed blinked, gently pulling away. “Is something wrong?”

“I…” Oswald’s gaze lurched sideways, staring at a point over Ed’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, but I don’t… I can’t…”

“We don’t have to do anything, Oswald,” Ed reassured him. “I wasn’t even planning anything.”

“Yes, but, _later_ , you might want to… to have sex with me,” Oswald continued reproachfully. “But I don’t think I’ll ever want that. In fact, I’m near certain.”

“Oh,” Ed nodded, licking his lips absently. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Oswald repeated.

“Okay.” Ed nodded once more. “The asexuality spectrum… it’s diverse, and it makes sense, at least to me. Some people are interested in sex, some people aren’t. It’s not the end of the world.”

Oswald frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Ed affirmed. “I fell in love with your mind, Oswald. Your body is beautiful too, but that doesn’t mean I have to sleep with you to feel close to you. There is more than one way to have intimacy.”

“You…” Oswald blinked wildly, “You _love_ me?”

“Uhh,” heat flooded Ed’s cheeks as he gulped. “Maybe. I-- _yes_. Yes, I… I love you.”

Silence.

“Is that okay?”

“Of course! Of course, it’s okay.” Ed found himself swept up in Oswald’s embrace, smiling into the man’s shoulder as he wrapped his own arms around him. “I-I love you too.”

“Oh, thank God,” Ed breathed, burying his face fully in the fabric of Oswald’s jacket with a contented sigh.

“You won’t change your mind?” Oswald whispered. “A-about the sex thing?”

Ed slowly leant out of the embrace to regard Oswald fully, waiting until Oswald was looking into his eyes as well before speaking. “I might want it. But everybody wants things. What matters is what I need. And all I need is you next to me, sharing your life while I share mine.” Ed grabbed Oswald’s hands again, looking deeply into his pale eyes, filled to the brim with emotion. 

“I want you to tell me the stories of your past and while we make stories for the future. I want you to hold my hand and tell me about your dreams. I want you to belong to me as much as I belong to you. I want it us against the world. And when things get bad, I want us to work through it together. And when things are good, I want us to enjoy it. That’s all I need. Edward Nygma and Oswald Cobblepot, hand in hand, side by side.” Oswald’s arms wrapped around him again, and it was perfect “Starting now.”

And that’s how it all began, two princes locked in an embrace that entire city would fail to break. And, forevermore, Edward got what he wished for.

**Author's Note:**

> I regret my life choices. Anyway, any and all kudos/Comments will be greatly appreciated nonetheless. There's only one day left for Riddlebird week, so I'll go back to my usual posting schedule after that. What WIP should I update next?


End file.
